My journey began long before I found myself pregnant. I was in a pattern of looking for love in the wrong places and just couldn't seem to break out of the pattern. At age 19, I found myself pregnant, not married and scared. I would go on to deliver a healthy baby boy but I soon learned that being a single mom was really hard work.
That pattern I mentioned before unfortunately didn’t stop. Two years later I found myself pregnant again and desperate. So, when I was 5 weeks pregnant I made an appointment at the local abortion clinic and decided it was the only way I could deal with my situation. I remember walking into the clinic and seeing people on the sidewalk out front. They were offering help to any woman who was willing to take it. I entered the clinic and only a few minutes later I left remembering what I had heard. Maybe there really was a way I didn’t have to abort my baby I thought. Then, I found myself walking over to the woman who was calling out to me as I went inside the clinic. Her name was Jessica and she welcomed me with love and told me that I could chose life. She went through the Option of Parenting and the Option of Adoption. I told her that I would be willing to consider adoption.
And, from that point forward she was there for me.
I struggled with the thought of how this baby would feel knowing that I chose to parent his brother and not him. But, because I knew I couldn’t give two children everything they needed, he deserved to be placed with a loving adoptive family. Jessica with OptionAdoption talked to me about the different adoption choices and helped me decide what was best for me. Every step of the way she was there, from studying the Bible with me to going to my ultrasound appointments. This time around was so different because I started to see that the love that I was seeking couldn’t come from anyone but Christ.
My second son, Samuel, was born and of course I loved him so much. He was perfect. Those days in the hospital holding him and loving on him will always be some of the best days of my life. I knew my days with him would only be a few, but his adoptive parents were going to give him the life that I dreamed he would have. So, as we both checked out of the hospital I placed baby Samuel into the arms of his new parents. There were many tears that day. But, to know I chose life for my baby and through adoption he would be in a loving family it brought me so much joy.
Sarah - birthmother